First Comes Love...
10/21/2008
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First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the handsome couple pushing the baby carriage.And they lived happily ever after, right? Not always.As wonderful as it is to bring home a newborn, marital researchers consider the birth of a first baby to be a crisis. It may be one of the biggest challenges spouses face. And according to recent studies by marital researcher and psychologist, John Gottman, almost 70 percent of couples experience a decrease in marital satisfaction during the first year of baby's life. Gottman's co-researcher, Alyson Shapiro, says, "A lot of couples don't realize how shocking this transition is until a few months into it, as things between them become less and less good." It seems with so much focus on the new family, it becomes very easy for things to escalate and turn negative. You add together several factors: lack of sleep, little or no sex, plus conflict over changing roles and responsibilities and the relationship becomes stressed in ways it hasn't before baby arrived. Marital experts agree though, that these problems are solvable. One key strategy that works--- yep, you've heard it before - communication. Instead of blaming each other, talk to each other about what needs to change to make things better. Give each other encouragement for trying. Drop the criticizing. It doesn't work. Actually, it makes things worse. Instead, give each other a break. Forgive mistakes. Laugh a little. Break out the back-rubs again. And listen to what your spouse is saying.
It's time to have a little fun together too. Remember first came - love.
Posted By: jonealkirby | 114 views
Tags: baby, communication, marriage
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