The Problem with Permissiveness

3/21/2008

Many parents are big fans of Dr. James Dobson and the work he has done with Focus on the Family. I'll admit that Dr. Dobson has been quoted by me to my kids certainly more times than they would have liked! Every generation has their gurus, those wise experts who lead and influence a culture. Dr. Dobson has certainly been one to millions of Christian parents concerned about raising their children right. In the newly-revised version of one the best selling parenting books, The Strong Willed Child, Dr. Dobson makes the case for parents acting as the leaders in their homes -- a stance that other parenting experts are not in favor of.

There is a lot of parenting advice out there today. (Including what you hear from me on my radio show). I encourage parents to always weigh anyone's advice against God's Biblical teaching, then pray about the direction you choose for your family and even seek the wisdom of a mature Christian brother or sister to clarify your understanding. One of the reasons that Dr. Dobson has reissued The New Strong- Willed Child book is to address the need for parents to be the authorities in their children's lives. This concept-that God expects parents to teach their children how to obey- isn't as popular a concept as it was when his book initially took the parenting world by storm.

However, there are many parents today that need to be commended. You have made it easy for your children to follow God's teachings. You have taught your children to obey. You understand that God has given children two direct commands in the Bible. One of these is found in Ephesians 6:1- "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. And Colossians 3:20 repeats that and adds a blessing: "Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." It is very sad when children cannot be pleasing to the Lord because their parents have not done their job of teaching obedience in their home! A child's job is to be respectful and obedience in terms of appropriate behaviors with adult authority. Parents - it is your job to train your children to behave this way.

You know when a child has learned respect for authority when they will ask permission of their parents before proceeding with a behavior. Or when a child doesn't demand undue attention when adults are talking, you know that child has been taught proper respect for authority. And when a child is able to patiently wait for his mother's attention, this mom has done a great job teaching respect and obedience. So, to all you hard-working parents - good job for teaching your child respectful and obedient behaviors - it's not easy, but you make it look that way when you do it well.